Small Town’s Hilarious Sign War Is Just The Distraction We Needed

The Virginia war kicked off when an employee at Bridge Kaldro Music in Christiansburg suggested to owner Ed Bridge that they start a sign war. His boss had no idea what this was, but when his employee brought him up to speed, he liked the sound of it! It quickly went viral, and Bridge told CBN News, “I’m just so humbled because this is bigger than my little music store.”

Trevor Cork, owner of Speedy Glass in Listowel, Canada, watched the Virginia sign war with delight. It inspired the local business community to get in on the act with their own hilarious signs, giving a boost to everyone’s bottom line and making the town famous. This combination of local pride and increased media attention made Cork wonder if he could repeat the trick in his town!

Cork told CTV News, “It started probably about a week ago. I saw a post that went viral on Facebook from Virginia in the States, and I thought what a great idea! And I knew our town of Listowel would absolutely rock it.” His first move was to challenge a business to war — and he chose the local Dairy Queen! With an opening salvo of, “Hey DQ, wanna have a sign war?” Cork set something in motion that would soon balloon beyond his wildest expectations.

“They had no idea! I took a shot at them in the dark and they were quick to respond,” Cork told CTV News. Imagine his delight when Dairy Queen replied with a pun, writing, “You bet your glass we do.” The war was on! But owner Amy Hamilton revealed to CTV News that the line wasn’t actually her own, saying, “We actually had a customer come through the drive-thru and she said, your rebuttal should be, ‘You bet your glass we do!’”

“Fire up the grill, we’re about to toast your buns,” went the amusing Speedy Glass riposte. It was followed by, “Our ice cream is smoother than your lines,” from Dairy Queen. Speedy Glass hit back with, “DQ, we thought you were sweet, now you’re just getting salty,” and Dairy Queen responded, “Hmm salty like our pretzel sticks.” The war was certainly heating up!

Hamilton told CBC News, “My understanding of a sign war is: they chirp, and we chirp back.” She wasn’t wrong! She knew she had her work cut out for her, as “Speedy gets up really early to change their sign.” Thankfully, she had more friends and customers waiting in the wings, revealing, “We have great fans with a million ideas still.”

It was at this point that other businesses in the Listowel area decided to join in the fun. The North Perth Fire Department was first, with their brilliant sign reading, “Hey Speedy Glass and DQ. If this thing gets any hotter, we’ll be ready with hoses and water.” Dairy Queen immediately acknowledged the new player in the game by writing, “Oh, NPFD stuck their hoses in!”

Jason Benn — Assistant Fire Chief at the North Perth Fire Department — spoke to CTV News about the war. He said, “Throughout the community it’s really nice to see smiles that the signs are putting on people’s faces. It is a friendly banter between businesses and community partners. And as you can see by our sign, this is our mic drop moment.”

Corley Sports Excellence then got in on the act with, “Add us to the sign war, because we’re good sports.” 365 Auto & Pet Wash added, “Hey Speedy and DQ, keep it clean or we may run you through the wash!” Then, to top it all off, Eaton Funeral Home Ltd. joined in with, “Hey 365 Auto & Pet Wash, sign war with us? Grave mistake!”

“These sign wars are so funny. We’re laughing our glasses off!” signaled the introduction of Listowel Vision Care into the mix. Listowel Agricultural Society decided to throw their hat in the ring with, “Let’s be fair! We’ll eventually join in but we’re outstanding in our fields right now.” Speedy Glass then addressed Listowel Vision Care with, “You keep getting cornea and cornea.”

Listowel Vision Care seemed delighted to be engaged by the originator of the sign war. It replied, “Hey Speedy! Thanks for noticing. Glad we crack you up!” At this point, no one was quite sure who had won the war — or even how such a thing could be judged. Speedy Glass simply wrote, “DQ might win. Anything is popsicle,” which was maybe the best pun yet!

In the end, no winner could really be declared — because the sign war just kept attracting more and more participants! Stop 23, a car dealership, took aim at Speedy Glass with, “No cracks in our glass,” and then a local financial institution got involved. The bank BMO wrote, “Speedy Glass and DQ got things going. Bank on us to keep things rolling!”

Cross Heating & Air Conditioning Ltd. took the sign war mobile by putting their letters on the side of one of their vans! Their message read, “It’s all in good fun. No one has to get cross about it.” Then the lawyers injected themselves into proceedings, with Tarbush Dickey Giller & Associates writing, “Hey DQ and Speedy! If these sign wars get out of hand, we might need to litigate!”

The North Perth Family Health Team’s contribution was full of amusing faux outrage. It read, “Speedy, DQ and all. Hey Listowel, your signs are all sick! NPFHT will not be a part of your schtick!” Finally, “DQ does ice cream. Speedy does showers. But we all know childcare has the real superpowers!” came from the North Perth Spinrite Child & Family Center.

Overall, it would be safe to say that Cork’s idea was a resounding success. The war even amused the internet so much that he was interviewed by the BBC! He told the British outlet, “There are thousands of signs on local businesses from our town alone to neighboring towns and cities and counties.” He smiled, “It absolutely blew up.”

“It’s been so uplifting,” continued Cork. “There hasn’t been one negative comment. The reaction has been absolutely amazing. We’re getting people stopping into my business just to say thank you for making them smile.” All in all, Cork believed that the inherent innocent silliness of the sign war was just what the doctor ordered for a community still mired in the global pandemic.

The proud owner said, “There’s businesses that compete against each other that are poking fun at each other, and people are laughing together again and smiling at each other. It’s brought our community very close in the last seven days.” All in all, Cork felt the sign war was a, “perfect distraction to what’s happening in the world around us right now.”

As an example of how the sign war charmed the people of Listowel, a young Facebook user posted about baking a cake for Cork and Speedy Glass. She wrote, “This sign war has been a blessing for this community! Helping small businesses be seen in this trying time while also giving our community a reason to laugh and come together again.”

The young baker added, “Thank you Trevor and your Speedy team for this inspired idea!” Other social media users also posted, “I’m loving this! Drove around town today before work to check out all the signs!” and “This is awesome. Thanks for initiating it, Trevor. Such a positive vibe around town. Love it.” It very much backed up Cork’s claim that there had been no negative reaction to the war.

Fascinatingly, Cork’s sign war then began to travel further afield than Listowel. He told the Stratford Beacon Herald newspaper, “It’s a pun war, and it’s friendly banter back and forth between the businesses. And I think it’s southwestern Ontario wide now. I would say there’s probably between 40 and 50 businesses now in Listowel that have joined in. It’s incredible.”

Liesa Hartman, of The Livery Yard Espresso Bar & Coffee Shop in Stratford, was one of the first business owners to transplant the sign war over into her hometown. Once again pinpointing the power of the internet, Hartman revealed, “I was scrolling through social media and that popped up and I thought, ‘That is so cool. What a way to bring a community together.’”

“So, I came into the café this morning and I looked up the street and saw no one else had put a sign up yet,” continued Hartman. “And then Nicole Blowes from Heritage Hops Brew Co. came in for a coffee and I was like, ‘Guess what I did?’” Hartman smiled, “Whatever you can do to bring a smile to someone’s face, right?”

By the time the sign war reached Waterloo, law enforcement was keen to throw their two cents in! The Waterloo Regional Police’s sign read, “DQ, forget ice cream. Got any donuts?” The police also challenged the fire departments in Waterloo, Cambridge, and Kitchener to join in, as well as the Region of Waterloo Paramedic Services! Business had definitely picked up a notch or two.

The war then spread to Kingston. Adam Rondeau of Daft Brewing told CTV News Ottawa, “We’re three signs deep and I imagine it’s going to keep going back and forth. Even when I was, like, setting up that sign, someone was honking, and someone said that they loved it. People stopping to take pictures. So, it’s fun to see people get into it.”

Adam Mulligan, owner of Friendly Fire, said, “The whole idea is to try to put a smile on people’s faces and try to lighten the mood. We’ve got lots of doom and gloom and this was an opportunity to make it a little bit more fun and light-hearted.” Paulette Auto Sales consultant Steve Lawson added, “It’s nice because we’re getting responses from other dealerships and other businesses that are local and small…”

When OK Auto took a good-natured shot at Daft Brewing, Rondeau couldn’t help but smile. It read, “Hey Daft, no one buys your beer, they just rent it!” Rondeau chuckled that the whole thing is simply, “Gentle chirps back and forth. We don’t want to push it too far. But I’m curious how other businesses respond, and we’ll have to respond accordingly!”

Next the war came to Sarnia, Ontario, and it saw a garden center humorously tangling with a trophy shop. The proprietor of that store, Peter Sparks, told CTV News, “I think it’s fantastic that a garden centre and I can do something together, or a hair salon and a liquor store. Everybody seems to be friendly and about building relationships.”

Tammy Maure of Pharmasave revealed, “Nobody has taken it the wrong way, all the posts are positive and funny...” Heck, even Sarnia’s Mayor Mike Bradley got involved! He said, “Have had no complaint on the signs, and if so, I would say lighten up. As Monty Python would say, ‘It’s time for something different,’ in these humorless times and let’s laugh.”

And it’s worth taking a look at the sign war in Christiansburg, Virginia, that set these events in motion. It all kicked off when a guy at Bridge Kaldro Music suggested to owner Ed Bridge that they start a sign war. His boss, unsurprisingly, had no idea what this was. But when his employee brought him up to speed, he liked the sound of it!

Bridge then began strategizing his opening move. His first message, which was later published on Facebook, read, “Hey Super Shoes, want to start a sign war?” It wasn’t the most imaginative note, but Bridge was just testing the waters. He didn’t know whether the shoe store across the street would be up for the show-down. But oh it was...

Imagine Bridge’s joy when Super Shoes did decide to join him in glorious battle. Its response, “Hey Bridge Kaldro! Our shoe 8trings are stronger than your guitar string” was pretty darn funny. Even the fact that the store ran out of the letter “S” somehow came across as charming. 

The stage was now set. Both sides had made their intentions clear. Battle lines had been drawn. The war was upon them. Bridge Kaldro fired back with, “Your shoestrings never got anyone a date,” which, we think you’ll agree, was a hilarious counter punch.

“Keep your play dates, we specialize in solemates,” Super Shoes wrote on another sign. At this point, it became obvious that the shoe emporium had someone on its team who specialized in puns. That’s truly an essential talent for any squad engaging in a sign war. “Solemates.” Magnificent.

What happened next changed everything, though. Bridge Kaldro decided to widen the scope of the sign war; it wanted to fight on multiple fronts! Beginning with a delicious pun of its own, this new sign said, “What a ‘croc.’” Then the challenge was made to another business.

“[I don’t know] what stinks worse, your shoes or Kabuki’s sign,” was the shot heard around Christiansburg. Local Japanese restaurant Kabuki had been served. Would it respond or stay neutral? Thankfully, the restaurant joined in with, “You got to B-sharp to make good shoe-shi and we won’t string you along.”

The pun game from Kabuki on this sign signaled things had just jumped up several notches. Bridge Kaldro and Super Shoes were tangling with a professional here. Three puns in one sign? Oh, and their next few signs were pretty great, too.

Soon, more businesses then threw their hats in the ring. The Christiansburg Pharmacy’s first sign read, “Music, shoes and food are fine. But your health is on our mind.” While the effort was appreciated, it did feel slightly akin to an out-of-touch parent trying to get down with the cool kids. Cringe.

“Shoes, strings, sushi? Your girl will leave if the IRS is after you,” came next from Hunt & Associate, LLC. Yes, even the accountants were getting in on the act! To be fair, we never would’ve credited number crunchers with a sense of humor, so color us pleasantly surprised. 

A local gas station then popped up with, “We will fuel the sign warz.” Its use of “Z” instead of an “S” was brilliantly ’90s. The Hampton Inn’s contribution, “Songs, shoes and sushi r worth the fuss, but at the end of the day they sleep with us!” was stellar, too.

For our money, though, Lawson Mobile Home Supply scored the biggest victory with its contribution. It read, “A musician, shoe salesman, pharmacist and barber walk into Kabuki. Bartender says, ‘This could be a sign.’” Someone get these people a 10-minute set at the improv!

By this point, most businesses in the area were involved. Things got crazy, you guys. We think Super Shoes summed it up best with, “Boy… that escalated quickly.” In our oh-so-humble opinion, any store that references the Anchorman news team battle is run by people with excellent taste in absurd nonsense. 

Clearly, everyone involved in the Christiansburg sign war was having a whale of a time. But then something incredible happened: the world took notice! A Facebook group was set up to keep track of all the signs, and tens of thousands from across the globe began to follow the silliness.

The sign war had clearly become a phenomenon. The man who started it all was interviewed by WSLS 10 News in April 2021 and showed great humility. Bridge said, “I’m just so humbled because this is bigger than my little music store.” Aww.

At the core of it, Bridge was happy as a clam that international attention had been drawn to all the businesses in Christiansburg. He said, “If we can put this whole area a little bit more on the map for people coming to visit, why not?”

Now, in general, conflicts are usually a terrible drain on the economy. But not this one! The Christiansburg sign war actually caused profits to shoot through the roof for many local outlets. According to Bored Panda, Kabuki owner Yoshi Koeda said, “It’s amazing free advertisement for us all.”

Claytor Wear – a clothing website – even figured out a way to harness the hoopla surrounding the sign war to help a local charity. What did the company actually do? Well, it sold stickers and shirts for Literacy Volunteers of the New River Valley – bringing in much needed funds.

The site’s owner Jonathan Friend felt the sign war was a perfect example of how people can still come together in tough times. According to Bored Panda, he said, “I think the signs are just really an homage we are really all in this together. So, it’s been really uplifting to see all the businesses support each other.”

Overall, the Christiansburg sign war didn’t just do a lot of good for the local community and businesses there, it also charmed the world, proving that local signage carries more power than you'd expect. Whether their message is a playful war, a big old confusion, or a complete spelling fail, local signs get a lot of attention, and for good reason.

It looks like this sign may be warning travelers away from someone's remote private property. If that's the case, it sounds like this home-owner doesn't delight in any unexpected visitors but, hey, at least we know they have good taste in cute and funny signs!

That's true, "congratulations" is a tricky word to spell. Either this sign writer needs to go back to middle school themselves, or they've intentionally made the most hilarious misspelling ever. Congrajlashins, big guy!

This sign says it all! We are all aware of the downsides of COVID, but perhaps it's worth looking at the positives. Your annoying boss? At least you don't have to see them in person anymore. Your aunt who always makes you eat her special dish of hot dogs and spaghetti? Well, looks like she'll have plenty of leftovers.

This has changed how we see police dogs entirely. Good thing that on-duty canines never patrol the dog park we go to because we would definitely get pulled over and ticketed for speeding, hogging all the toys, and major bark violations!

This might be photoshopped, but what if we actually combined public safety and humor? Not many people pay attention to commonplace roadsigns, this could be a way of grabbing their attention, giving them a chuckle, and making the roads safer. As long as the jokes aren't too funny!

Of course, thousands of men don't die from literal stubbornness per year, but we sure believe that it was a man who spray-painted this "correction." It makes this sign all the more eye-catching, raising awareness of regular medical testing while incorporating that message into a light-hearted self-referential joke.

This is one of those signs that we have mixed feelings about. As far as we're concerned, we really don't care if the toilet paper has a beard or a mullet, so long as it is being used! As an actual hairstyle though, we're going to go with mullet all the way. Business in the front, and party in the back!

This truck is friendlier than a lot of people we know! Whether the sign is implying that the reader is close to their destination in travel, life, work, or school, we're sure anyone reading this appreciates the extra encouragement (just as long as they don't rear-end the truck). Let's keep up the encouragements. Up next: cars with free candy dispensers!

All of us probably know someone who could benefit from having this sign posted wherever they go. People who speak in tangents can be entertaining, but they sure do hate staying on topic! Anyways, now I'm wondering what's for dinner tonight...

Look, we know what the intentions for this sign were, but we wonder if this person takes their own advice! This sign is so poorly made it makes some of life's easiest rules mind-numbingly hard to read. On the other hand, maybe we agree with "Don't Do Vegetables."

This translation is hard to wrap our minds around. We've got the "pay attention to safety" part down. What confuses us most is "helped jailed." It would be a little worrying to be in a place with this sign. We hope we don't have to help jail anyone who isn't standing firmly enough.

As far as we're concerned, COVID social distancing guidelines have always existed between us and ALL of these potentially dangerous animals. No one denies that bears can be cute in pictures, but we're not sure if that's the case when they're truly six feet away. And we don't want to find out!

Looks like this bookstore owner has found a funny way to mention the chaotic state of the world right now. It's amazing to see businesses take these troubles in stride, and hey, this clever sign might even boost post-apocalyptic book sales. But for those of us in need of an escape, we're heading to the fantasy section.

Oh, how marvelous it would be to work at a bar with this sassy sign? Didn't like your drink? The soup is too hot? Steak undercooked? Read the sign. Perhaps this is good advice for other aspects of life as well. Maybe if we all just lower our standards a bit, the world would be a happier place.

These people really meant it when they said they were sick, and they really meant that in more ways than one. No customer will be setting foot inside until that sign comes down! Either it's an audacious sense of humor about a staff outbreak or just actual mental illness!

Need a self-confidence boost? A new mantra by which to live your life? Look no further than this suggestive sign which demands you never settle for being stored in a plastic sack and getting placed in a container. This is the self-help we needed today.

Vandalism is bad, but if you're going to mess up someone's property, you might as well make it funny. Here's some graffiti for you, with a heaping side of irony. Before you know it, this little list ties itself up nicely. Maybe we're being overly generous art critics, but kind of clever, isn't it?

This sign shows us that not much actually changes when we grow up. Be it preschool or old age, there will always be moments in your life when you lose control of your bowels. Hey, at least there's a way to be humble about it — just be honest. No shame!

A velociraptor-free workplace? What is this, Jurassic Park? We're sure this must be an office joke or something, but without working there ourselves, it makes no sense. We're choosing to believe that "velociraptor" is the name of an employee's dog instead of thinking that some of the scariest dinosaurs have been reanimated and are raiding the copy room.

Finally, here's something we bet all religions can agree on. Humans all over the world need their morning dose of caffeine before all those daily annoyances begin to occur. We hope another line from this chapter reads, "Who doth protest the ultimate power of Netflix & Chill paired with ice cream?"