Orlando Bloom's Morning Routine Made Him A Joke On The Internet

For most of us, getting up means rolling out of bed, pulling on some clothes and venturing as far as the kitchen for coffee. Orlando Bloom is a bona fide movie star, though, so as you might expect, he does things a little differently. Still, absolutely no one was prepared for just how bizarre his morning routine really is.

His Morning Routine

Bloom revealed his rise-and-shine routine in an interview for the magazine of U.K. newspaper The Sunday Times. And while some aspects of his regime sound familiar to regular folk, other parts were so off-the-wall that they caused quite the reaction online.

In On The Joke

The offbeat aspects of Bloom’s daily regime made him the target of ridicule – on social media and in real life. And it wasn’t long before the actor got quizzed again about his weird routine, with presenters presumably keen to figure out what on earth he’d been thinking. But rather than defend his behavior, Bloom took the jibes in good humor.

A Charmed Life

From the outside, it seems that Bloom has things pretty good for himself. He lives in Santa Barbara with his pop-star fiancée Katy Perry, to whom he’s been engaged since Valentine’s Day 2019. They share their home with their daughter Daisy, who they welcomed in August 2020.

Holding Each Other Accountable

In interviews, Bloom and Perry have made no secret of their deep, spiritual connection. In 2020 Perry told Vogue India magazine, “Orlando is like a sage. When we first met, he said we would pull the poison out of each other, and we really do… It’s exhausting, but we really hold each other accountable.”

Emotionally Evolved

Later in 2020 Perry told British newspaper The Times about her and Bloom’s relationship. She explained, “He’s very sensitive. Very emotionally evolved… One of the things that binds us is our desire to be more spiritually evolved. And our desire to investigate that realm. One of our main love languages is the spiritual evolution.”

Love For Their Daughter

Needless to say then, Bloom and Perry seemed pretty smitten. And their love bubble only grew with the arrival of Daisy. Her birth was announced on the UNICEF Instagram page, in honor of the couple’s role as Goodwill Ambassadors for the international children’s charity. It read, “We are floating with love and wonder from the safe and healthy arrival of our daughter.”

Proud Papa

Two months after the birth of his daughter, in October 2020 Bloom appeared every bit the proud dad during an appearance on TV chat show Ellen. He said, “It was funny because when she first came out I was like, ‘Oh it’s me, it’s a mini-me!’ Then, fortunately, she got those Katy blues which was perfect.”

The Baby Whisperer

Practicing Buddhist Bloom also revealed he chanted to his daughter each morning, which he claimed, “soothes [her] a bit.” Seemingly proud of his technique, the Pirates of the Caribbean star added, “She responds very nicely. It’s like I’m a baby whisperer. I’m definitely winning daddy points.”

A Major Career Boom

Things have also been looking up for Bloom career-wise of late. In one of his most high-profile parts in recent years, he took the lead in the 2019 war movie The Outpost. He also has roles lined up, voicing Prince Harry in the comedy animation show The Prince and starring in the upcoming sci-fi flick Needle in a Timestack.

Crazy Mornings

So from the outside, it may seem like Bloom has it all. But how does he manage to keep himself on track? Well, judging from a self-penned piece the actor wrote for The Sunday Times Magazine in March 2021, it all boils down to a comprehensive but crazy-sounding morning routine.

What's Your Sign?

Now you might not have Bloom down as the kind of guy who pays much attention to astrology. But when explaining why maintaining the same everyday habits was important to him, he pointed towards his star sign. The actor mused, “I’m a Capricorn, you see, so I crave routine.”

Craving Routine

But the nod towards his astrological sign was just a taster of Bloom’s quirky take on his daily routine. But that being said, his morning usually begins ordinarily enough. By that, we mean he rises at 6.30 a.m. and checks an app on his phone to see how well he has slept. The star then attends to his baby daughter while Perry sleeps.

Father-Daughter Time

Bloom revealed, “I check on my daughter, who’s usually up and cooing in her cot. My fiancée [Perry] needs her sleep, so I try to let her have a lie-in. Daisy’s a very happy baby. I’ll kiss her and we’ll spend some time connecting. I’ll do eye-gazing with her and sing songs, ‘Daddy loves his Daisy Dove,’ so she knows who Daddy is. My son’s first word was ‘Mama,’ but Daisy said ‘Dada.’”

Finding Enlightenment

After singing to Daisy, Bloom kick-starts the day with some Buddhism, chanting for a period of 20 minutes. He’s been following the religion since he was still a teen, and he continues to read “a bit of Buddhism” each day, relaying any nuggets of enlightenment to his followers on Instagram.

Avoiding Morning Scrolling

While on Instagram, Bloom tries not to fall into the trap of mindless, morning scrolling. He wrote, “Other than that, I won’t look at my phone yet.” Although by his own admission he’s already done just that at least twice, first to check his tracking app and then to share his daily Buddhism practice with his fans... But we digress.

A Breakfast Of Green Powder

Next to cover is Bloom’s morning eating habits. But rather than simply tucking into some cereal when his belly starts rumbling, the actor says he must “earn” his brekkie. So instead of traditional food, the actor starts the day with “some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, collagen powder for my hair and nails and some protein.”

Not Quite Normal

Seemingly predicting the raised eyebrows his morning routine might generate, Bloom acknowledged that what he’d divulged so far was not exactly normal. He conceded, “It’s all quite L.A. really.” And in keeping with this theme, he added, “Then I’ll go for a hike while I listen to some Nirvana or Stone Temple Pilots.”

Nuts And Berries

After his powdered breakfast, Bloom eventually sits down for some solids at 9:00 a.m. It’s then that he enjoys a meal of porridge made with hazelnut milk and a smattering of yet more hazelnuts, vanilla paste, cinnamon, goji berries and some vegan protein powder. For lunch, he’ll have a stew or some veggies, while his dinner menu remains a mystery.

Thinking Of The Animals

While on the subject of his eating habits, Bloom explained that he is “90 percent plant-based.” He does, however, eat red meat on a monthly basis – despite his self-confessed love of bovines. Explaining his love for the animals, the actor wrote, “I sometimes look at a cow and think, that’s the most beautiful thing ever.” N’aww – sweet!

Beating His Cravings

Despite the fact he’s yet to drop animals from his diet altogether himself, Bloom had pretty bold ideas about how future generations might judge our eating habits. He mused, “At some point in time, we’ll look back and not be able to believe we used to eat meat.” But still, that monthly craving for red meat is seemingly too hard to beat.

No Tracksuits

Other revelations from The Sunday Times Magazine piece include the fact Bloom refuses to let himself go in the wardrobe department. Continuing to relay his morning routine, he explained, “Then I’ll have a shower and get dressed. I like to make an effort. No tracksuit bottoms.”

Dreaming About Inclusivity

Bloom also revealed he spends a good chunk of time reading scripts for future projects. But we can only presume that lots of them leave him feeling a tad uninspired. As such, he claims to wile away the time “dreaming about roles for myself and others – for minorities and women.” How selfless!

Legos And Lifting

Aside from his well-meaning daydreams, Bloom said he will also spend some time building Lego, his preferred subject being “mostly cars.” There’s also time for some exercise, with the actor’s favorite activity being “heavy weights.” Why is this his go-to workout, you may ask? Well “to exhaust” him is the answer, of course.

Criticism From the Peanut Gallery

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for Bloom’s article to go viral. The details of his bizarre morning routine were soon being picked apart online. In fact, there were some people who felt so perplexed by the actor’s approach to his day, that they questioned whether the whole article was in fact one big wind-up.

Is He For Real?

One such person was the Twitter user danbarker. Writing on the social media site in March 2021, he marveled, “Genuinely thought the Orlando Bloom interview in The Sunday Times was a spoof. Is it really not?” Trying to rationalize the actor’s odd revelations, he later wondered, “Maybe Orlando has shares in ‘brain octane oil.’”

Brain Octane Oil

Indeed, Bloom’s use of “brain octane oil” was a point of contention for a number of readers. Responding to the actor’s article on Twitter in March 2021, user surieofficial wrote, “Good morning to everyone except Orlando Bloom’s brain octane oil.” She added, “I’m having Cheerios and I earned them by merely existing.”

Snake Oil?

For the most part, it seemed that most people simply had no idea what brain octane oil actually was. Apparently, it’s derived from caprylic acid, a fat found in coconuts that’s said to have benefits for weight loss and brain function. But the jury’s still out on the effectiveness of the product.

Experts Unconvinced

Australian newspaper The Sydney Morning Herald sought out dietician Simone Austin for her take on Bloom’s brain octane oil. The verdict? She wasn’t convinced by the evidence. Austin explained, “If this was really a thing, we would have all done it before.”

Getting Your Nutrients

What’s more, Austin had some words of advice for Bloom and any others tempted to try brain octane oil. She said, “I would suggest people eat whole foods. So if you want the benefit of coconut, then eat coconut – for example on your muesli in the morning, or with yogurt... so you don’t also miss out on beneficial nutrients like dietary fiber.”

Normal People's Routine

While Bloom’s supplement of choice consumed much of the commentary on his morning regime, for many that was just one detail that highlighted the gulf between his lifestyle and theirs. Writing on Twitter in March 2021 PaddyDuffy said, “Woke up after a lie-in and saw the TL full of Orlando Bloom’s morning regimen. I shambled to the kitchen and made a tea accompanied by a stick of Kinder Bueno. There are no right answers.”

Living His Best Life

Though most of the internet seemed all too ready to pour scorn on Bloom’s morning, there were some who felt the actor was merely living his best life. In March 2021 user Freyalyn tweeted, “I would actually quite like Orlando Bloom’s morning routine. But with real organic milk on my porridge, and possibly some bacon afterwards.”

Comic Viewpoints

Elsewhere, comedian Michael Spicer responded to Bloom’s interview by reimagining it from the viewpoint of an aging cockney. The funnyman’s interpretation of the star’s morning routine was posted, in video format, on Twitter in March 2021. And it seemingly won Bloom’s approval with the actor later resharing the clip on Instagram.

Finding The Humor In It

By resharing Spicer’s video on his Instagram feed, Bloom appeared to be taking the hysteria sharing his morning routine had caused in good humor. And he seemed to see the funny side of the reaction when he was asked about it during an appearance on the British radio show The Chris Evans Breakfast Show With Sky in March 2021.

The Butt Of The Joke

When host Evans broached the subject of Bloom’s morning routine, the actor jokingly warned, “Don’t start!” Seemingly, the star had already faced his fair share of teasing on the subject. He confessed, “I’ve been the running joke of just about everybody between my friend groups and families.”

A Spoonful Of Sugar

Defending himself, Bloom added, “When you read that out loud! I was asked what my porridge recipe was – by the way – vanilla in your porridge will take it to the next level. Trust me.” The star also addressed the brain octane oil, which he joked was “just two teaspoons of sugar. Don’t tell anyone.”

Religious Roots

Bloom also spoke more about his spirituality and use of chanting, something he’d touched on in The Sunday Times Magazine piece. Revealing the roots of his religion, the actor explained, “I was studying art at school in London. I’d been confirmed in a cathedral by the Archbishop of Canterbury, which was kind of a big deal.”

Chanting For A Better Life

Bloom continued, “I didn’t have a church in London and I’ve always been a bit spiritual... I met this artist and he was a Buddhist and he was chanting in the other room while he was teaching me to paint. And one day I walked in and I said, well, will it help? When he goes, ‘Yeah’. I said, ‘What are you doing?’ And he said ‘I’m chanting that you’re going to do really well in your exams and you’re going to have a great life.’”

A Roadmap For Life

It was at that moment that Bloom was first drawn to practicing Buddhism himself. He revealed, “I said, ‘Oh, great, will it help?’ He said, ‘Yes’ so I got down on my knees and I started chanting. I just started and I just kept doing it... It’s just been a bit of a handbook for me. It’s been like a little bit of a roadmap.”

Who Are We To Judge?

So perhaps not everything outlined in Bloom’s morning routine was as off-the-wall as it first appeared. Besides, if the actor has found a regime that works for him, and makes him feel good, then who are we to judge? In fact, perhaps we should all be a little more like Bloom. Now pass us the brain octane oil...