Jessica Alba Revealed The Secret Behind Her 13-Year Marriage

These days, Alba isn’t quite as prominent in the movie business as she was in the late 2000s. Her recent credits include a two-season run on L.A.’s Finest, the small screen spin-off of the Bad Boys franchise, and a role in indie crime movie Killers Anonymous. This lower profile is entirely intentional on her part, though, as she has spent the 2010s focusing on her family.

In 2019 Alba posted a loving Instagram post dedicated to her kids. Alongside a photograph of her brood, she wrote, “This is my world. My heart burst open the moment I became a mom almost 11 years ago.” She added, “There has been no greater gift in my life than being their mama.”

The gorgeous star also focuses a lot of energy on her union with husband. At one point Warren was a producer in the television industry, but he is now a business owner. In 2016 he gushed about his wife on Instagram, posting, “I still get butterflies in my stomach around you.” But how exactly did the happy couple meet?

When Alba signed up to play Sue Storm – aka The Invisible Woman – in the 2005 Marvel superhero blockbuster Fantastic Four, she had no idea she was about to meet the love of her life. While shooting the film, she came into contact with director Tim Story’s assistant: a young Warren. The superstar actress immediately took a shine to him.

The Hollywood leading lady told Cosmopolitan magazine in 2010 that she knew almost immediately that there was something special about Warren. She revealed that, right after she had met him, she had phoned her best friend, excitedly exclaiming, “I met this guy and I feel like I’ve known him forever and I’m gonna know him for the rest of my life.”

This meet-cute was in 2004 and within four years they would be engaged. Then in May 2008 they became Mr and Mrs Warren in a low-key wedding ceremony. As a couple who liked their privacy, they mostly kept themselves out of the spotlight while dating, and the same went for their wedding. In fact, the full truth wouldn’t be revealed about that day for over a decade.

On their 11th anniversary, Warren wrote an emotional Instagram post reminiscing about the unusual circumstances surrounding the occasion. Unlike most people’s big day, which is planned out for months in advance, he and Alba just woke up one morning and decided to get married. It was truly a spur-of-the-moment thing.

Warren wrote, “We were laying in bed, having one of those amazing lazy mornings where we’d do nothing.” About his soon-to-be-wife, he wrote, “You were nine months pregnant with Honor and we were so excited to meet her in the coming weeks.” Out of nowhere, one of them floated the idea of marriage, despite their generally lukewarm attitude towards the institution.

“Not sure who thought of it first, but the decision we made that day would forever change the course of our lives,” continued Warren. “We hopped up, got dressed, and drove straight to the courthouse. Prior to that day, neither of us thought marriage was important. It felt outdated and we weren’t going to fall for an antiquated social construction.”

Yet, that was exactly what they chose to do on that fateful morning. Warren didn’t explain why their views had been reversed so dramatically, only writing, “But something changed in us that morning.” He then lamented that the wedding hadn’t been the dream ceremony Alba deserved, even describing it as laughably awkward. But it was theirs.

The ecstatic husband wrote, “Standing under an arch of dusty plastic flowers in the courthouse chapel, we held hands and said, ‘I do.’ No friends or family in attendance; just you, me and the courthouse employee who served as our witness. We walked out holding hands, giggling with excitement and a touch of nervousness.”

Warren remembered the first time he addressed his new wife as “Mrs Warren” with particular fondness. It was when he opened the car door for her outside the courthouse. He then wrote, “Eleven years and three kids later, we’re still learning, growing, giggling, and loving,” before finishing his post with a look to the future.

The successful businessman wrote, “Here’s to a lifetime of pushing each other to be the best versions of ourselves and catching each other when we fall. Happy anniversary, Mrs Warren!” In return, Alba posted a photo gallery the following day, along with the caption, “My best friend, my everything. We are better together.”

After the arrival of their first daughter, Honor, in 2008 Alba felt a lifestyle change was required. For one thing, she knew she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her husband and baby daughter. This in turn meant her desire to act began to fade into the background.

The Into The Blue star told Romper magazine, “My motivation was not like, ‘Am I ever going to get hired again?’ Frankly, I was at the top of my career. I couldn’t go back to what I was doing before and be authentic. I just couldn’t. I didn’t care about it the same way.”

In August 2011 the couple’s second child arrived. Then, the year following Haven’s addition to the family, Alba decided to move her career in a different direction. She formed her own brand, The Honest Company, and began to make eco-friendly products for moms and families. She continued to act here and there, but with nowhere near the same frequency as before.

Warren also transitioned into the business world in 2014 when he launched the apparel brand Pair of Thieves with two partners. Its USP? Socks. Warren told website Grow Wire in 2019, “All the dress socks for men were this really thin nylon dress sock that I always hated. I wanted a sock that was comfortable, but one that I could also dress up in for a nice occasion or to go to work.”

Both Alba and Warren’s companies are roaring successes. In 2020 The Honest Company grew its sales by 20 percent. By the end of the year, it was pushing $350 million in sales revenue. Meanwhile in 2019 Pair of Thieves’ annual revenue was $30 million, a figure made all the more impressive when you consider revenue was only $250,000 when it launched.

As if running two businesses and maintaining an acting career wasn’t enough for Alba and Warren, though, they added a third child to their family in 2017. When Hayes, their first boy, came along, the couple knew they needed to run their family like a well-oiled machine. In 2020 they spoke to Reveal magazine about their parenting styles.

If the kids are bickering with each other, Warren and Alba distract them with activities. Warren laughed, “We’ve found that if they’re busy, they don’t have as much time to fight.” He added, “With our two daughters – Honor, 11, and Haven, eight – Jessica and I will divide and conquer. Jessica will take Honor out and I’ll take Haven out, or vice versa.”

Alba revealed that their kids are familiar with routines and boundaries. She said, “They have to make their beds. They have to set the table, clear the table – those are no-brainers, right? They participate in taking care of the home and themselves.” On top of this, if the children misbehave, they know their parents won’t tolerate it.

Warren told Reveal, “One thing that Jessica and I are 100 percent aligned on is that we’re not raising a-holes. If they get out of line, we’re not going to stand for it. We’ve tried to maintain the values our parents taught us.” With all this energy devoted to good parenting, though, where do Alba and Warren find time for each other?

In 2012 Alba blogged on iVillage about how she and Warren kept their marriage thriving even after having children. The main thing she pinpointed for keeping both the adults and the kids happy was for everyone to stick to a schedule. In fact, Alba believed the kids’ bedtime schedule, inspired by some advice from one of her girlfriends, was vital to her and Warren being able to make time for each other.

The Into The Blue star wrote, “Whether we’re settling into the couch to watch bad reality television or getting a babysitter so we can enjoy a date night out, we always know we have dedicated time after the girls are asleep to catch up, discuss what’s on our minds, and simply just be with each other. No cell phones or email allowed.” This post-kiddies-bedtime ritual was sacred for Alba.

“Carving out this alone-time is especially important after almost nine years together, too,” continued Alba. “Often feeling tired after a busy day at work and home, I know how easy it is to take each other for granted or let our relationship sit on the backburner and think, ‘It will be there tomorrow, now it’s time for sleep.’” In a strange way, maintaining this schedule had become romantic to Alba and Warren.

Alba wrote, “So, making time for our relationship in our daily routine, even though it’s surprisingly predictable and may not seem as spicy as our spontaneous pre-kiddo days, really helps keep the romance alive.” As parents, the couple had entered a new phase of their marriage. It was one in which their definition of loving regard had shifted.

For Alba, enjoying romance with her husband had come to be defined by thoughtfulness, as much as what happened in the bedroom. She wrote, “Maybe it’s because I’m 30 or maybe it’s because I’m a mom, but I don’t think romance is always about swinging from chandeliers, although it’s nice from time to time. It’s really about the small gestures too.”

For example, when Alba was shooting a movie in Atlanta, Warren organized for a flower bouquet to be delivered to the set for his wife. Alba was charmed by the unexpected gift during her workday. She wrote, “It was a simple, heartfelt surprise that let me know he was thinking of me during my time away from home.”

On top of this, though, Alba praised how her hubbie would take it upon himself to take domestic chores off her hands. She said, “He also takes over middle-of-the-night feedings, tends to fevers, and takes the girls to the park without me having to ask because he knows I need a break. All these things add to our romance.”

Alba then spoke to website Refinery29 in summer 2020 and expanded on the secret of her marriage. Her big tip for wedded bliss was to set aside time for date nights, which she and Warren had started to do after Honor was born. She explained that, even though it might not sound romantic to schedule such things, it had become essential to them.

The Sin City star revealed, “Our lives are so hectic that we said, ‘Every Wednesday, this is going to happen.’ Now we have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night blocked out where we don’t do any kind of work.” Sometimes date night would be a trip to the movies and sometimes it would simply be a dinner at home for just her and Warren.

Alba explained that, even if you live with someone and see them all the time, it is important to keep making date nights as special as you can. She said, “If you don’t make time to connect on that date-night level, then you can find yourself going through the motions.” The actress said she believed it was important to try to avoid this, even when life gets in the way.

“When you have three kids, or even if you only have one, the kids’ schedules are a priority, your work is a priority,” continued Alba. “Everything seems to take precedence over the thing that should be the most important: your partnership, and the life you’re building together.” Overall, it’s vital to not let the relationship become an afterthought.

Alba knows when she and her husband are in a good place. She revealed, “I’ve found that we’re much happier when we treat our relationship as a sacred thing, as something that needs to be worked on and treated well and given the kind of care that it should have.” This level of care sounds simple, but it can easily fall by the wayside if either spouse lets it.

The actress and businesswoman even had some advice for ways to make a home date night seem as exciting as going out. She revealed, “Try to get out of your sweats. You can have an elevated outfit without it being uncomfortable. Throw on a slip or a slip dress, even if you’re barefoot.”

The next tip featured the involvement of some makeup. She said, “Put on your game face, whatever that is. Some people don’t like to wear any makeup at all, but if I put on even a little bit, I feel great.” You might not be completely surprised to learn that this revelation then led to her suggesting The Honest Company’s Eye Shadow Palette and Tinted Lip Balm.

“It’s easy to do a nice, soft, smokey eye,” continued Alba. “That little touch of something-something makes it feel like it’s not just another night in. I also love candles, music, dimming the lights, those little touches really help.” The star also pinpointed preparing a meal in tandem with your significant other as a great idea for date night.

“It’s nice to do it together,” reasoned Alba. “You can have a glass of wine, put on some jazz, and chit chat while you’re making food together. My husband is a great sous chef. I’ll follow the recipe, because he really doesn’t like to follow recipes – he likes to do it his way. I’ll be like, ‘Can you cut this? Can you mix that?’”

Just as in other areas of their marriage, though, Alba felt cooking emphasized her and Warren’s teamwork. She said, “If I’m doing the main part of the cooking, he’ll do the clean-up, and if he’s doing the main part of the cooking, I’ll do the clean-up.” So, there you have it, people. Date nights and cooking together. Simple secrets of a happy marriage!