Hilarious Animals In Old Paintings That Artists Got Wildly Wrong
Have you ever wandered around an art gallery filled with old paintings and thought to yourself, "What were these people on?!" Because, let's face it, some of the art from hundreds of years ago is pretty strange. Just take one look at the animal paintings from this era — they are utter nightmare-fuel. But they're also kind of hilarious...
1. Sneering snail
We don’t know about you, but we’re pretty relieved that snails look nothing like this in the real world. Imagine coming face-to-face with this thing in your garden. Even your flowers would be scared!
The nightmarish figure you see here first appeared in a pictorial version of the 13th-century manuscript Der Naturen Bloeme: that translates as The Flower of Nature. Quite why it’s so angry is anyone’s guess.
2. Owls about that?
From their piercing eyes to their flexible necks, there’s always been something quite otherworldly about owls. But even so, that doesn’t explain this bizarre piece of art. What’s going on here?
Well, in medieval bestiaries, owls were frequently used as a critical allegory of Judaism. The birds' nocturnal habits and daylight weakness was meant to highlight the perceived “spiritual blindness” of Jewish people compared to Christians back then.
3. That’s not Tony the Tiger
Elegant, graceful, beautiful — those are just some of the words we’d use to describe tigers. This guy, though? Not so much! Yep, that’s a medieval take on the predatory big cat from the medieval manuscript called Der Naturen Bloeme.
While the human face is more than a little unsettling, we can’t stop looking at that neck. Is anyone else getting weird camel vibes? And the less said about the placement of that tree trunk the better...
4. No monkey business
Good luck finding a creepier illustration than this one. It’s meant to be a monkey — we’re serious! Talk about an unflattering portrayal. It’s a little like looking at Curious George through a strange Instagram filter.
You’d have to be a brave animal to approach this fella in the jungle. It's even got human thumbs! And one glance at its gurning face could haunt your dreams forever.
5. One angry dolphin
Dolphins are absolutely wonderful creatures; the ocean would be a sadder place without them. But when it comes to this dude? We’re not so sure! This might be the angriest depiction of a dolphin we’ve ever seen.
Maybe they woke up on the wrong side of the seabed? Or perhaps it's forgotten what its life porpoise is? Whatever the case, we wouldn’t fancy taking a swim with this guy.
6. This leopard wishes to change its spots
We wouldn’t blame this leopard for feeling a little unsure of itself. For one thing, it looks more like a lion. And that’s before we even get into the unique markings and shade...
Why is it red? Where are its spots? The artist behind this Aberdeen Bestiary entry from the 1100s would’ve been left red-faced themselves if they’d known just how wrong they’d got it!
7. This elephant didn’t skip the gym
We knew that elephants were big and powerful, but this 13th-century illustration is on a whole other level. It looks as though it’s carrying a small castle on its back! And it doesn’t look too happy about it...
That's actually a carriage or howdah on its back, and that has its own controversies in the real world. So we'd rather focus on the fact that the elephant is also chasing a giant green dragon. No wonder the animal’s eyes are so wide!
8. Beware the tornado trunks
Have you ever seen a more furious-looking elephant? This guy could wreck things in a hurry! After all, just take a gander at its trunk: it’s like staring at a tornado.
Yet having said that, the terror subsides when you look at the animal’s feet. It looks as though this beast visited a medieval-era Foot Locker prior to its jungle rampage.
9. An unusual flying lemur
How’s this for bizarre? Despite being called flying lemurs, those animals can’t actually fly: they sail through the air instead. On top of that, they aren’t really lemurs, either. Like we said, it’s odd!
This old illustration only adds to the weirdness. Flying lemurs look nothing like this picture from The Historie of Foure Footed Beasts. This thing is more plump monkey than furry glider.
10. A pointer crocodile?
Trust us, that’s not a medieval pointer dog rocking a crocodile costume! This head-scratching piece of art was included in the a manuscript called the Rochester Bestiary towards the end of the 13th century, and it certainly raises some questions.
Where’s the croc’s famous snout? How come it’s so stiff? Why does it have such long legs? And why does it have sticky-up ears? Captain Hook might’ve fancied his chances against this fella.
11. Eager beaver
Both hard-working and cute, beavers can steal your heart in an instant. So it’s fair to say that this depiction of the lovable rodent is way off the mark. It looks closer to a bear!
Then there’s the issue with the tail. In the past, these appendages were believed to resemble fish, to the point where folks would actually eat them. Crazy, right? This beaver certainly seems to think so.
12. Sweet panther breath
Another beautiful big cat, although we haven’t seen many panthers that look like this in the wild. What exactly is going on in this illustration? We think it’s pretty trippy.
According to the British Library, images such as this one in old bestiaries claimed that animals were drawn to panthers’ breath after they woke up. Dragons weren’t so keen, though. Who needs Tic Tacs?
13. Watch out for whales
Free Willy would’ve been a very different movie if the titular whale looked anything like this! Yep, this medieval bestiary entry is the stuff of nightmares — so we apologize in advance for bringing it to your attention.
It depicts the giant mammal as a green monster with a face you won’t soon forget. No wonder the guys in the boat are staring upwards as opposed to down. You can hardly blame them!
14. Oyster schmoyster
Have you ever wondered what an oyster could look like if it had a face? No? Well, the following illustration from Der Naturen Bloeme is sure to live rent-free in your head whether you like it or not!
Resembling a giant ball on the water’s surface, the eyes and beak on the brown shell are unnerving, to say the least. No one would mess with this dude in a hurry.
15. 16th-century orca
At first glance, you might think that this is just a drawing of a random fish. It isn’t, though: it’s actually a killer whale. No joke! The blowhole is pretty much the only clue you’d have to go on.
This artwork was created in the mid-16th century, and it may well have put sailors on the back foot. How could they spot an orca if this was their one source of info?
16. Hungry like the wolf
The bright red eyes. The curled ears. That tiny tail. Those strangely huge eyelashes. This bestiary illustration of a wolf just looks so... well, not quite right. The resemblance is not uncanny!
The sketch itself came in the 1500s courtesy of Conrad Gessner, a naturalist from Switzerland. We can only assume that folks who later saw the real thing were left rubbing their eyes in disbelief.
17. A six-legged cat?
This is a pretty cute depiction of a cat, wouldn’t you agree? From the gorgeous face to the six legs...wait, what? Okay, upon closer inspection, it’s not perfect. But that was par for the course during that period.
As David Russell, a social media manager, told the Tenderly website, “Medieval cats look like someone watched a blurry DVD rip of the movie Cats and then forgot how to paint.” Ouch!
18. A noble steed!
Centuries before Shrek made the “donkey as a noble steed” gag, the Maastricht Book of Hours depicted this unusual scene. That is indeed a donkey leading the charge with a swordsman on its back.
Quite why the animal is feasting upon an unsuspecting orange bird is anyone’s guess, though! No wonder the creature in the upper corner seems so worried. Perhaps he'll be next...
19. Good boy...we think
If dogs looked like this during the medieval period, man might’ve been tempted to search for a different best friend. This illustration is straight-up nightmare fuel, giving the canine an uncomfortably human face.
We’re getting Sarah Jessica Parker in Mars Attacks! vibes here, but way more freakier! Plus, the rest of its features are equally odd, too, so it’s bad news all around.
20. Hungry croc
Looking at this illustration, you’d be forgiven for thinking that this poor soul was getting eaten by some kind of dragon. That’s not the case, though: it’s actually a crocodile.
We’d hate to live in a world where they actually looked like this nightmarish monster! The drawing was found in the 13th century’s Northumberland Bestiary text, and it surely sent a lot of shivers down spines.
21. That’s a spider?
A word of warning to anyone with arachnophobia: this next entry could scare you silly! As found in Der Naturen Bloeme, this horrifying picture depicts a rather large spider with a face. A cold, blank face.
The lack of expression makes it even creepier. And the fact it has six legs instead of eight... We hope for the artist’s sake that they didn’t really spot an arachnid like this back in the 14th century.
22. A not-so-majestic seahorse
Bestiary illustrations don’t come much more literal than this depiction of a seahorse in Der Naturen Bloeme. It’s just a big fish with a horse’s head! We’re honestly surprised that no one’s riding the thing.
Imagine seeing a seahorse for the first time after staring at this picture beforehand. You’d have so many questions — after getting your giggles (or perhaps your screams) under control, that is.
23. A magical lynx
Nope, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. The lynx you see here is definitely in the middle of going to the bathroom. So much for privacy! Yet that isn’t the most baffling part of this bestiary entry.
The illustration suggests that the wild cat churned out a “magical stone” in its urine, which we can spot on the ground. The lynx’s expression suddenly makes a lot more sense.
24. Weird gibbons
At their cutest, gibbons look like stuffed toys come to life. You just want to hug them! But the same can’t be said for these two guys: their giant hands might haunt our dreams for a while.
How do you make a gibbon appear so creepy? No, it’s not a setup for a joke; we actually want to know. We should probably ask Aloys Zötl — the Austrian artist who produced this piece in 1833.
25. Pimp My Rhino
While they may be built like massive tanks, rhinos aren’t the most colorful of creatures in the animal kingdom. Then again, if you only had this illustration to go on in the 17th century, you’d never know that.
We are a little impressed that the rhino looks kind of like an actual rhino, but... Just look at this dude! It’s almost like its entire body has been covered in decorative copper-plated armor.
26. The land crocodile
Compared to the crocs of today, this weird-looking “land crocodile” doesn’t seem anywhere near as intimidating. It has a closer resemblance to smaller lizards, albeit with an odd face. But these creatures did actually exist in the past.
When dinosaurs ruled the Earth, a group of crocodiles adapted to living on dry land and became herbivores. Planocraniidae probably didn't look much like this picture, though. But we do think Jurassic Park missed a trick here!
27. Don’t be crabby
At a glance, this seems to be a picture of some sort of insect. One that we’d like to avoid at all costs! Yet upon closer inspection, the illustration becomes even more baffling.
That’s a crab? Yes, this unique take on the crustacean first appeared in India in the 1700s, depicting the zodiac sign Cancer. We can only imagine how the other signs fared.
28. Weirdness all round
Right, there’s plenty to unpack here. We’ve got a guy riding a huge, multi-limbed salamander, an armless frog, and a squirrel. But this isn’t just any normal squirrel. The adorable critter appears to have insect legs for some reason.
Oh, and it’s breakdancing. Because, why not? This hilariously bizarre illustration was drawn up by Hieronymus Bosch in the latter part of the 15th century. (And no, not the Hieronymus Bosch from the TV series Bosch!)
29. All hail the King!
We know that cats expect to be treated like royalty, but this takes things to a whole other level. All hail the King! Let’s hope its rule was fair and just.
Touching on the artistic portrayals of cats from that time, archivist Damien Kempf informed Tenderly, “In the medieval period, animals were understood to be the mirror of human society. They were given human traits and characteristics.”
30. An imposter?
Without wishing to disparage the artist of this illustration too much, we’ve still got to ask, what on Earth went on here? That’s supposed to be a tiger? It looks more like a leopard crossed with a seal!
And that face: the dude seems pretty zoned out, despite catching what appears to be a rooster. We're sure tigers of the 19th century would’ve been outraged with this 1860 depiction.
31. An unnerving lion
Lions aren’t called the kings of the jungle for no reason. Not only are their physical abilities unmatched in the wild, but they also just look so regal. The Lion King has definitely strengthened that opinion.
Mind you, this guy is no Mufasa or Simba! We certainly don't think he'd have the lungs to sing the "Circle of Life." That humanoid face is giving us the willies, no matter how inviting it might seem.
32. Two dogs on the lake shore
Have you ever seen a pair of more miserable-looking dogs than these two? Come on guys! You’re sitting by a lake. Why aren’t you more chipper? Well, their appearance might have something to do with it.
Their bodies just seem… off. The pooch on the right looks like he’s a frequent visitor of the doggy gym, but even that’s not enough to crack a smile. No gains without pain, right?
33. Why the long face?
What would happen if you gave a whale an enormous bird beak? Well, this truly bizarre illustration from the 18th-century text A History of the Earth, and Animated Nature answers that question. It’d be insane!
No one would want to be on the receiving end of that sharp pecker on the open sea. We’re assuming the sailors are trying to get away and not trying to catch it!
34. A lion and a bear walk into a bar...
We never envisioned lions and bears as animal pals, yet this picture from The Ashmole Bestiary had other ideas. Yes, that blue creature is meant to be a bear. The duo appear to be sharing food in the bottom image.
But we’re continually drawn to the center of the piece. Is that a couch? Talk about 1200s chic! We wonder what the rest of the bear’s humble abode looks like?
35. Cat or beaver?
Did the artist behind this hilariously odd creation get cats and beavers mixed up? Because it sure feels like it. Let’s set the record straight: it is meant to be a beaver.
But honestly, it has a closer resemblance to a feline in costume. The poor thing looks absolutely mortified! The illustration appeared in 1658’s The History of Four-Footed Beasts and Serpents.
36. Behold the Bear Ape
Before South Park gave birth to the infamous ManBearPig, The History of Four-footed Beasts and Serpents presented folks with this creature. It was dubbed Bear Ape Arctopithecus. And somehow, it might be even weirder than the ManBearPig.
Judging by those nails, it was in serious need of a manicure. It could probably do with spending some time in the barbershop, too. And that’s a face only a Bear Ape mother could love!
37. Bat’s the Way (I Like It)
Would Bruce Wayne have become Batman if he encountered these things in his cave? We’re not so sure! Their faces bear a strange equine-shape, which just ramps up the odd factor.
We don’t know whether we’d want to pet them or flee in terror! The illustration forms part of the 18th century text Histoire Naturelle, Générale et Particulière, which is chock-full of weird animal art.
38. One sad monkey
While monkeys come in all shapes and sizes out in the wild, we’ve never seen one quite like this: the weird little dude seems quite perturbed. Then again, considering that it’s tied to a post, maybe that’s justifiable.
The painting makes it look a bit like a frog... Perhaps that's why not even the beautiful cherry blossom in the background could raise its spirits. On the bright side, that red shirt is pretty banging!
39. This guy isn’t having a whale of a time
Whales really did get a raw deal when it came to medieval illustrations. Here’s another hilariously weird effort courtesy of the Book of Simple Medicines. Judging from his face, this guy had seen some stuff on his aquatic travels.
The eyes are a dead giveaway! And why does the animal’s blowhole look like a ring? Was he married in some strange whale-wedding ceremony? Perhaps that explains the thousand-yard stare.
40. A canine serenade
A dog playing the bagpipes? The pooch is only a kilt away from being a hit in Scotland! But what’s the meaning behind this crazy picture? Well, the art originally popped up in a medieval book series about Reynard the Fox, a popular character from that time period.
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The dog illustration was used during a section covering Reynard’s funeral, with a host of other animals taking up instruments, too. It’s as weird and wild as you would imagine!