Barry Manilow Revealed The Secret Relationship That Saved His Life
Despite being one of the music industry’s biggest megastars, Barry Manilow has managed to keep many cards close to his chest over the years. He’s an intensely private person, but recently, the singer has started to open up on certain topics. During a 2023 interview, Manilow shed some fascinating light on a secret romance that kept him afloat in the early part of his career.
Growing up with a single mom
Barry Manilow has led no ordinary life. The legendary singer, whose birth name is Barry Alan Pincus, came into the world in the summer of 1943.
He spent his formative years in Brooklyn, New York, living with his mother, Edna Manilow. The future star resolved to adopt her surname after his dad, Harold Kelliher, had abandoned them.
Finding an outlet
Regardless of how emotionally difficult that period might’ve been, Manilow found an outlet. As a kid, he became fascinated with musical instruments, taking up both the piano and the accordion.
Yet his passion for music really exploded when he got to know his mom’s new husband. This proved to be a pivotal moment that significantly shaped the years to come.
“He changed my life”
“When my stepfather came into my life and brought with him a stack of albums…[it] may as well have been a stack of gold,” Manilow told People in April 2017.
“[It was] some of the greatest music you’ve ever heard: jazz, Broadway scores, great singers with great arrangements. He changed my life with just that little stack of records. My mother was very, very musical. So there was always great music in my house.”
“I became Mr. Popular”
And that love of music served Manilow well during his school years, too. He recalled, “I was miserable in high school! [But] when I found the orchestra class, then I became Mr. Popular, really.”
“I was voted best musician of the year, I formed my own band. But before that, I really didn’t know what to do because it was all about sports, and that’s not who I am.”
Manilow married his high-school sweetheart...
Mind you, Manilow wasn’t just in love with music across that spell; he also had a high-school girlfriend. Her name was Susan Deixler, and they stayed together even after their studies had ended at Eastern District High School.
In fact, their bond was so strong that the couple went on to tie the knot. At the same time, Manilow began to take baby steps in becoming a professional musician as well. This was a career path that took him to Manhattan in the Big Apple.
...but it didn’t last long
Yet balancing his career ambitions and personal life wasn’t easy, and it led to a tough moment for Manilow in 1966. That year, he and Deixler decided to bring their romantic union to a close.
The singer had more to say about that during an appearance on Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace? in November 2023. Manilow noted, “We had a very nice marriage, it was great.”
“It wasn’t good for me”
“But I was away every night making music as a young musician would be and it just, it wasn’t good for me and it wasn’t good for her,” Manilow continued.
“I couldn’t be the proper husband. I was just away making music with a band. I wrote an off-Broadway musical called The Drunkard. And I was having a ball. I just couldn’t be a husband.”
“I wasn’t ready to settle down”
Those words echoed Manilow’s previous statements about the marriage, which he’d made back in 2017. On that occasion, though, he’d insisted to People that the decision had nothing to do with his sexuality.
According to him, there was no internal “struggle” going on. “I was out making music every night, sowing my wild oats — I was too young,” Manilow said. “I wasn’t ready to settle down.”
The decision paid off
Manilow’s decision to prioritize his career over his love life could’ve easily blown up in his face. But that didn’t happen: before long, the aspiring musician enjoyed some notable success that set him on the path to stardom.
He proved himself as something of a jingle-writing whizz for the likes of Band-Aid and State Farm, setting memorable slogans to music. Manilow also took charge of the music on Ed Sullivan’s The Late Show, too.
“A driving force”
Yet it could be argued that Manilow’s most exciting gig back then was his partnership with Bette Midler, which formed in 1971. He went on to serve as the producer of her first and second record.
And she certainly appreciated his efforts. Midler beamed, “Barry Manilow was a driving force. He did a great job arranging, and he had a great sense of how to move a song along.”
The song that changed everything
“[Manilow] just knew how to inject a song with excitement,” Midler added. Off the back of their work together, she quickly became a superstar. And Manilow wasn’t far behind her!
Yes, despite putting out a first record of his own during that period that didn’t exactly blow people away, everything changed in 1974. That year, the singer struck gold with the classic single “Mandy,” which shot to the top of the charts.
The hits kept coming
There was no turning back after that. Manilow followed “Mandy” up with a string of other future classics, including “Can’t Smile Without You” and “Copacabana (At the Copa).” A one-hit wonder he was not!
But as he continued to establish himself in the world of music throughout that decade, 1978 proved to be a particularly important year. It was then that Manilow was first introduced to Garry Kief.
A decades-spanning professional partnership
A successful television executive, Kief hit it off with Manilow quite quickly, leading to a significant moment. Yep, the singer went on to hire him as his new manager. And it’s a job he’s held ever since!
Alongside that responsibility, Kief is also in charge of Barry Manilow Productions. How does their professional dynamic work, though? Well, a pal of Manilow’s shed some light on that to People.
“A major career takes two”
Suzanne Somers noted, “There’s Barry Manilow the performer, and then there’s the Barry ‘machine.’ It takes enormous savvy and know-how to book and market complicated arena tours, choreograph promotion, direct the entire team and make it look effortless.”
“That part is Garry’s domain. A major career takes two. Between them, there is enormous comfort and trust.” Mind you, as successful as the partnership has proved, Manilow still isn’t one to toot his own horn.
“That’s not really my forte”
In fact, Manilow really downplayed some of his talents while chatting with People. He said, “As an arranger, you take a rock ‘n’ roll song and make it into a ballad with three chord changes and key changes and an emotional ending.”
“That’s what I do. Yes, I’m a songwriter. I’ve written a handful of songs that have become hit songs. But that’s not really my forte.” We get the feeling that many of his “Fanilows” would beg to differ on that last point!
Falling in love
Away from the music, though, Manilow did manage to put some focus back on his love life after hitting it big. And in Kief, he found the perfect romantic partner.
“I knew that this was it [when I first met him],” the singer recalled to the magazine. “Garry didn’t know what I did, even though I had all these records out.”
“The smartest guy I’ve ever met”
“[Kief] was a guy, and I was a guy, so we could just deal with each other like two normal people, not like a superstar and a person,” Manilow explained.
“He’s the smartest guy I’ve ever met in my life — and a great guy, too.” So yes, in addition to their professional relationship, a romance has been burning for just as long!
Ending the secrecy
But Manilow kept their love a secret for decades, only coming clean in his chat with People in 2017. This was the first time that the musician had publicly revealed that he was gay.
And since then, he’s opened up a lot more about the romance. For instance, Manilow outlined just how important Kief had proved to be during his appearance on Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace? in 2023.
“I had somebody to cry with”
Manilow said, “As my career exploded, it was just crazy. And, you know, going back to an empty hotel room, you can get into a lot of trouble if you’re alone night after night after night.”
“But I met Garry right around when it was exploding. And I didn’t have to go back to those empty hotel rooms. I had somebody to cry with or to celebrate with.”
A life-saver
Manilow even went so far as to say that Kief “saved my life.” He continued, “I wish that young people don’t have to go back to those hotel rooms by themselves because you get yourself in trouble.”
“I never did. But it was pretty lonely until I met Garry. And then it was fun.” The candid revelations didn’t end there, either. In addition to those comments, Manilow explained why he’d kept his private life so secretive.
“Killed a career”
“I think [coming out] was a non-event for me,” Manilow admitted. “Really, Garry and I’ve been together for so long it just never dawned on me it’s ever going to come out.”
“In the ’70s, you know, you didn’t. It wasn’t the same as it is today. Now being gay is no big deal, but back in the ’70s it would have killed a career.”
“Kind of creepy”
Manilow then noted, “The public wasn’t ready for anybody to come out. And frankly, it was just too personal. I just didn’t want to talk about my personal life anyway. I never did that. I was happy talking about music.”
“But talking about my personal life was just kind of creepy to me. So I never did. When we came out, I think everybody knew that Garry and I were a couple all those years.”
Thinking of the fans
Mind you, broad public perception wasn’t the only thing that held Manilow back from revealing the truth. He’d also harbored concerns about how his devoted fan base would take it.
Would the “Fanilow” crowd turn their backs on him? Well, the “Can’t Smile Without You” singer got his answer when his romance with Kief became something of an open secret in 2015.
“They were so happy”
“I thought I would be disappointing them if they knew I was gay,” Manilow told People. “So I never did anything. [But] when they found out that Garry and I were together, they were so happy.”
“The reaction was so beautiful: strangers commenting, ‘Great for you!’ I’m just so grateful for it.” As for Manilow and Kief’s relationship, they took things to the next stage in 2014.
A secret wedding
Yes, Kief and Manilow tied the knot in April 2014 in the grounds of their spacious home in Palm Springs, California. It was a quiet event, kept under wraps from the media and public.
“I didn’t think it was going to be that emotional,” the music star said. “It was deeper than we thought it was going to be, looking at each other, saying, ‘I love you’ in front of people.”
“The right thing to do”
Manilow went into a bit more detail about that, explaining why their emotional states had come as such a surprise. He continued, “We’ve been married all these years. It’s just that it became legal.”
“We took a look at our wills and made sure that everything [was] in proper order. Getting married was the right thing to do. Thank goodness we’re still together, and in good shape, too.”
Calling time on tours
As for Manilow’s career in recent times, he finally called an end to his touring in 2016. At that point, he was ready to slow down after nearly 50 years on the go.
“Going away from home for weeks at a time, I just couldn’t do that anymore,” he explained to People. “I wanted to be home, to really have my life back.”
“Not the end”
“It’s the end of the road,” Manilow noted. “But it’s not the end.” The music superstar has kept that promise in the years since. He’s still performing in Las Vegas, Nevada, as part of a residency that’s been going for over a decade.
In fact, Manilow has mapped out his concerts in the Silver State all the way up to December 2024. Not bad for a guy who has just turned 80 years of age!
“I’ll keep going”
So that brings us to the big question: does Manilow intend to hang up his microphone for good in the near future? Well, it seems unlikely. As he told People back in 2017, “I tried [retirement].”
“I was so bored, I was driving myself crazy. There are still record companies that are interested in me and audiences that are still interested in what I have to say. I’ll keep going until they stop me!”